


Cats & Magic

by Zephyrfox



Category: GoldenEye (1995), James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond (Movies)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Established Relationship, James/Alec - Freeform, James/Alec/Q, M/M, Magic, Original Characters - Freeform, Pre-Relationship, Protective James Bond, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:59:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zephyrfox/pseuds/Zephyrfox
Summary: In an ideal world, Alec should have arrived at the junk shop just after the messenger arrived. Sophia would have given him a package, all big eyes and, ‘won’t you be a dear and deliver this for me?’ and Alec would have taken it, and everything would have been fine.But noooooooo…  Alec brought James along so he was late, and some idiot tried to steal the damn thing before it got to the shop, so the messenger was late, and nothing worked out as planned.Now, Alec was acat.





	Cats & Magic

 

“Here.”

Q twisted around in his seat, surprised to hear the voice behind him. He had told his assistant that he didn’t want to be disturbed while working in his lab. He turned too slow — Bond was already next to him, dumping something orange and fluffy onto his desk. A rather disgruntled cat picked itself up with a haughty stare at Bond before sitting, curling its tail around its paws with elegant poise.

 _Why would Bond bring him a cat?_ For that matter, why was Bond here, at MI6, _alone,_ in the first place? Both Bond and Trevelyan had downtime for the weekend, and normally it was next to impossible to pry the two agents apart when they weren’t working.

Q placed the pocket watch he was repairing into the box of components on his desk and closed it. No sense letting cat hair get into the gears. He looked from the cat to Bond, and sternly told himself not to stare at the fit of Bond’s khakis and tight black t-shirt. “What’s this?”

“A cat. Obviously.”

Barely refraining from rolling his eyes, Q said dryly, “Yes, I can see that. Why do you have it and what is it doing here?”

Bond shrugged, watching the cat with what Q could swear was worry. “It’s Alec.”

Q tried to come up with a logical reason that might link Trevelyan to a cat, but failed — although it might be too early to rule out some sort of bizarre catnapping scheme. “I don’t understand. What does the cat have to do with Trevelyan?”

“That _is_ Alec.”

 _What?_ Q studied the cat. It was a long-haired orange tabby with brilliant green eyes, staring regally back at him. “What do you mean, ‘That’s Alec’? The last time I checked, he was a particularly obnoxious Double O, not a cat.”

Trevelyan wasn’t really that obnoxious, even for a Double O. But Q was keenly aware that Bond and Trevelyan were in a relationship with each other. He had no desire to have either of them suspect just how interested he actually was in them.

The cat looked down its — his — nose at Q, then stood up and turned around, deliberately aiming his butt at the two humans. His lashing tail caught Q across the face, knocking his glasses askew. Then Trevelyan sat, his back facing Q and James, ostentatiously ignoring them.

Q grimaced and spat fur out of his mouth. “That’s disgusting.”

“Wait til you see what he does with a litter box.”

Trevelyan twisted back around and _glared_ at Bond. Q found himself rather impressed that a cat could convey that depth of emotion. His own cats spent the majority of their time eating, sleeping or blissed out on catnip. He huffed a laugh and turned to Bond. “I _am_ familiar with cats and litter boxes, you know. Now, tell me what idiocy you two were up to that somehow ended up with Trevelyan becoming a cat.”

“It wasn’t our fault —” Bond cut short his protest and shrugged. “At least, I don’t see how it could have been. It all started this morning.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

The morning sun peeked through the clouds, barely warming the air around them as they walked down the mostly empty sidewalk. There weren’t many other pedestrians, and what few there were looked intent on going about their business. James glanced sidelong at Alec, letting his eyes wander suggestively over his partner’s body, lingering on denim-clad thighs. “Why are we down here again? We could be doing something much more interesting somewhere much warmer and more comfortable.” Like each other, in their bed. Or someone else’s bed — they’d been discussing picking up a third for a few hours or the whole weekend. Maybe even testing the waters with their Quartermaster.

Alec met his eyes and smirked, but ignored the implied suggestion. He put on a burst of speed, pulling ahead. Just before he turned the next corner, he called back to James, “Come on, we stayed in bed too long this morning. We’ll be late.”

 _Late for what?_ James lengthened his stride, not wanting to be left behind. He was somewhat annoyed that Alec still hadn’t clued him in on their destination. He hadn’t intended to be walking in an unfamiliar area of London when he woke up this morning. And why had Alec insisted on taking on the Tube instead of driving? Part of the journey had included switching trains and retracing their steps — enough that he was positive that they would have lost anyone foolish enough to attempt to follow them.

The street around the corner was even more quiet than the one they had been on. The shops were just opening up for the day, but there were no cars or other pedestrians. James caught up with Alec in time to cross a smaller street side-by-side. Alec paused, his head turning toward an alley up ahead, just as James heard the sound of an altercation coming from that direction.

Alec glanced at him and gestured toward the alley. James nodded, following as Alec led the way. They were both armed, but it was better to check the situation before going in brandishing weapons. Mallory didn’t like letting the Double O’s loose upon London as it was, and he’d put his foot down at allowing them to be armed. Of course, no one was about to mention to him that the Double O’s would arm themselves whether he allowed it or not. What Mallory didn’t know wouldn’t bother them.

The alley ran between a tea shop and a junk shop, with its goods jumbled in a window and along the sidewalk in front. James kept his attention on Alec as they crouched against the wall of the tea shop. Alec peered around the corner into the alley, then surged forward silently. Taken by surprise, James swore under his breath and followed his partner into the unknown.

Two men fought in the alley. They were a rather rough looking pair, dressed in jeans and hoodies that had seen better days. Alec tackled the one brandishing a knife as James charged in. The other, seemingly weaponless and apparently the victim, collapsed onto the ground beside them. One glance told James the man was almost certainly dead, but he didn’t care, because he couldn’t take his eyes off of Alec. Or at least, what was standing next to the man Alec had tackled, looking around in confusion.

A cat.

A long-haired, orange cat.

The man next to the cat yelled, pushing himself far enough away from the cat to get to his feet and run. James let him go; his only concern was the cat apparently taking his partner’s place. He stepped forward, slowly. “Alec?” He hadn’t hit his head, and he didn’t think he was hallucinating — what other explanation could there be? Alec had, somehow, impossibly, turned into a cat. His mind shied away at the thought of magic. It didn’t exist.

The cat looked up at him and yowled, a vicious, angry sound that promised death and destruction of the unwary. Well. That was a mark in the ‘the cat is Alec’ column.

Sunlight reflected off an object next to the body, catching his eye. Without thinking, he scooped it up and shoved it in his pocket as he considered his next step. He had no experience in matters where people suddenly turned into felines. He peered down at Alec. Feeling faintly ridiculous talking to a cat, even it was his partner, he asked, “Do you have any ideas?”

Alec sat, looking up at him with emerald eyes filled with uncertainty. “Miao?”

James huffed. That didn’t help. He didn’t exactly have a cat-to-Double-O dictionary. Although — there was someone who might. Someone who had cats and dealt with Double O’s on a daily basis. Maybe he would know what to do with Alec. “Let’s go see Q.”

Alec considered that for a moment, then jumped into his arms with an emphatic, “Mrrow.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Q blinked at Bond. “You came to me because… I have _cats.”_

“Yes.”

“That’s…” He trailed off. He was about to say, ‘absurd,’ but there was an air of desperation about Bond, one that he was beginning to feel himself. How on Earth could he be expected to know how to help Trevelyan simply because he had cats? He stared at the long-haired orange furball, desperately hoping for an idea to pop into his head.

He huffed. Right. He was the Quartermaster, the youngest in MI6 history, and he would be damned if something as off the wall as this could throw him. He straightened up, catching Bond’s eye. “Tell me everything that happened in the alley.”

“I already told you —”

He cut Bond off with a sharp gesture. “I know you did. Tell me again.” He listened carefully as he had Bond describe the alley and the two men they had faced. _Wait._ There was something that Bond mentioned, but he couldn’t quite get his mind around it. The thought kept slipping away from him as he got close. It had to do with… the body, maybe? That might work. He could track the thought down that way.

“The victim. You said he was dead. Did you check? Did you contact the police?” Q studied Bond. There was a clue there. Somewhere. He knew it.

“No, there was no need to check. He was dead.” Bond frowned, as if in thought. “There was a… thing? Next to the body.”

Q straightened. Had Bond mentioned that before? Maybe this was what had caught his attention. “What kind of thing?”

Bond’s brows drew together in confusion. “I’m not sure. I think I…” he trailed off, absently patting his pockets. He reached into one and pulled out something Q couldn’t quite see. Bond held it in the palm of his hand and stared at it.

“What is it?” Q leaned forward, trying to get a better look. A lump of metal, cut with strange runes and set with various crystals. He winced, giving his head a shake. If he didn’t know better, he’d swear the thing was… humming?

Trevelyan hissed at it, his ears flat against the side of his head.

Bond frowned at Trevelyan, then handed held the object out to Q. “Here, take it. Maybe you can tell what it is.”

“I’m no archaeologist, Bond,” he said absently, as he took the thing. What should they call it? Just an artifact, maybe? It didn’t have a defined shape — Q sucked in a breath, dimly aware of a thud as the object hit the floor of Q-Branch. Trevelyan yowled something he could almost understand and Bond cursed, and none of that mattered because everything hurt and he was being squeezed and he fell and…

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Well, shit.” James stared down at _two_ cats on Q’s desk.

Newly-a-cat Q stood, swaying, and looking rather dazed. He was a handsome cat, but looked nothing like Alec. Whatever had changed them into felines apparently didn’t care what they looked like as long as they were cats. Q had short, brown fur, overlaid with some sort of black tabby stripes, and his eyes were a bright amber.

Alec stood and leaned into Q, giving his cheek a comforting lick.

James shoved down completely inappropriate feelings of jealousy, and everything hit him at once. He half-sat, half-collapsed into Q’s empty chair with a thump. His partner was a cat, his Quartermaster was a cat, and he had nothing to show for it. _Wait._ He had that thing, the lump of metal. Q had dropped it when he’d… changed. James scanned the room. A bright flash from under a bank of Q’s servers caught his eye. As he reached for it, one of the cats yowled. He looked back. Both were watching him intently. “What?” Q’s tail lashed.

“Oh. Right.” He considered. Q had changed when he touched the object. Maybe Alec had, too? But he had touched it, twice, and nothing had happened. He thought back. The two men in the alley had been wearing gloves. Maybe he should find something to wrap the thing in? He was the only one who knew Alec and Q were currently cats. He was responsible for making sure they were safe until they could figure out how to turn them back to their normal selves. He couldn’t risk anything happening that might take him out as their protection. He looked around. Q’s messenger bag was slung over the chair. He could put the thing in there, but first he had to pick it up. He quirked a brow at the cats. “Do either of you have any ideas?”

Alec sat, observing enigmatically, with his tail curled around his front feet. Q, however, hopped gracefully down, off the desk, and padded over to a corner of the room hidden by cabinets. When the cat reappeared, he was pulling a pair of latex gloves.

“Thank you.” James took the gloves and tugged them both on. He really only needed one, but there was no sense taking chances. He picked the metal thing up and studied it while Q sat at his feet, watching closely. It was an irregularly egg-shaped lump of dark, bronzed metal that didn’t look like anything he’d ever seen before. Its only decorations were the runes cut into it, running in three more-or-less neat rings around the top third, the middle, and the bottom third. Three blue, one red, four yellow and half a dozen clear faceted gems or crystals were set randomly into the thing. There was no rhyme nor reason for the placement or the colors that he could detect. He mentally shrugged and put the metal egg into Q’s messenger bag and slung the bag’s strap over his shoulder.

“Let’s go, you two. We’re going back to that alley. There’s got to be some clue there to what’s going on. Oh, you’ll have to walk. I’m not carrying both of you.”

 

~~~~

 

James grumbled as he stopped the cart next to his Aston Martin. “Here we are, you little pests.”

Alec and Q ignored him as they both jumped off the cart and sat expectantly next to the car door. He’d been fortunate that the Q-branch minion he had corralled hadn’t even blinked at a Double O requesting a cart for his cats.

When the minion appeared with the cart, Q had immediately jumped gracefully onto it, appearing to almost float in the air before he landed. Alec, the bastard, had only jumped onto the cart after James had reminded him that the only other alternative was for him to walk. Then the two had started to groom each other, and once again James had had to grit his teeth, feeling faintly ridiculous that his jealous streak was flaring at a _cat._ He wasn’t even sure which one he was jealous of — his partner or Q.

He had gotten a few curious looks pushing the cart through the halls of MI6 to the parking garage, but every single person had hurriedly turned back to their own business when he glared at them.

James opened the car door and shoved the messenger bag behind the passenger seat. After the cats jumped in, he slid into the driver’s seat and started the car. Alec curled up on the passenger seat like a fluffy orange cushion, and Q — wait, where had Q gone? James craned his head, looking around the car until he spotted his missing Quartermaster, hunched into the footwell of the passenger side. Q peered up at the tangled mass of wiring hidden by the glovebox. “Are you going to stay there, or sit on the seat? It might be safer.”

Q glanced at him, giving the impression of an eye roll, then went back to studying the wiring.

Of course. James refrained from rolling his eyes and put the car in drive. Hopefully they’d find some answers in the alley.

 

~~~~

 

James pulled the Aston Martin into the side street, and parked in front of the junk shop. He got out, absently closing the door behind him as he surveyed his surroundings. The sun, much stronger now, beat down unmercifully.

“MMrrroOW!”

“Oh, right. Sorry, your highness.” He wasn’t sure which one of the cats it was, but it didn’t matter. They probably both wanted out. He opened the door and grabbed the messenger bag while Alec and Q to leapt out. The cats eyed their surroundings suspiciously. James huffed a laugh at the careful way Q eyed the debris on the pavement in distaste. “Are you ready? It’s time to get some answers.”

Alec and Q looked up at him and nodded. Before Q could run off, however, Alec bumped him, rubbing against him and forcing him aside in a clear message to stay back. Q stopped, a quizzical look on his furry face.

“Mrrow,” Alec told him. Q huffed, looking for all the world he was pouting. Alec licked Q’s forehead, and then turned to saunter into the alley.

James sighed, not willing to admit to himself that he didn’t want to let Alec out of his sight. He settled the messenger bag over his shoulder. “Come on, Q. Let’s go after him before he gets in more trouble.”

Q gathered himself and launched into the air, landing on James’ shoulder. “Mrowww.”

James staggered at the unexpected weight, and then swore as sharp claws pricked his skin through his t-shirt as Q draped his long, lean cat’s body across his shoulders. _Cats._

In the alley, Alec was sniffing around the area they had seen the men. Oddly, there was a decided lack of a corpse nearby. What had happened to the dead man? “Anything interesting?”

Alec paused, looking up, and flicked an ear at him.

“I mean, other than the missing body.”

Cats couldn’t shrug, but James was sure that if Alec could, he would have. His fluffy orange tail lashed twice, and he turned to wander deeper into the alley, stopping here and there to sniff at random patches of the ground.

James reached up absently to pet Q’s sleek fur as he turned on his heel, surveying the alley. A buzzsaw purr vibrated against the back of his neck. The alley wasn’t wide. At the rear, a fence stretched from the back of the tea shop to the the back of the junk shop, blocking off the access to the next street. That morning, the assailant had climbed the boxes stacked there to get away from them.

Alec approached the boxes, and James had to bite his tongue to keep from warning his partner to be careful. Alec might be a cat now, but he still wouldn’t appreciate being coddled.

The side door to the junk shop opened, the screech of its ungreased hinges echoing through the alley.

James whirled, ignoring the squawk from Q and the pinpoint pain of claws digging into his shoulders again, and drew his Walther — aiming it at an older woman framed in the open doorway.

She took a step back, her mouth dropping open in a shocked ‘O’, and brought her hands up in a warding gesture.

Alec was suddenly in front of him, emitting a low, warning growl that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

 _What the hell?_ James frowned, not taking his eyes off the woman. Alec wasn’t growling at the woman, but at _him,_ and Q had gone stiff on his shoulders. _Preparing to jump?_ He hoped not. He took a step back, thankful that Alec stayed put. When he had the woman and his partner directly in his line of sight, be turned his attention to the cat.

Alec’s ears were back, and his tail lashed back and forth in agitation.

“What’s going on?” Was this some new symptom of being turned into a cat? He pictured Alec’s scimitar-like claws, and remembered the pin-prick pain from Q’s. Maybe he ought to get Q off his shoulders before the Quartermaster turned on him, too.

“Oh, dear. This is all going so very wrong.” The woman brought her hands down, folding them in front of her.

Alec, seemingly satisfied that James wasn’t going to shoot, backed up until he was just in front of the woman, who looked down at him.

“Go on inside now, dear.” Then she smiled at James. “You too, please. I’ll just pop across and ask Marya to bring over some tea. And sandwiches — I’m sure we could all do with a bite to eat.”

Q gave an affirmative yowl, right in James’ ear. He flinched, then swore as Q’s claws once more pierced his skin. Couldn’t Q dig his claws into the strap of the messenger bag on his _other_ shoulder?

The woman laughed. “A tin of tuna, perhaps? And some chocolate cake, I think — although not for the cats, of course.”

James felt somewhat out of his depth. His partner had defended the woman, and had disappeared inside the junk shop without hesitation. He asked a bit desperately, “Who _are_ you?”

She approached him on her way to the tea shop’s side door, and patted his gun arm as she went past. “I’m Sophia, dear.”

He turned and watched, still baffled, as she disappeared inside the tea shop. A low _mrrowOW_ came from the junk shop. He swung back around; Alec was in the doorway, still an orange furball, eyeing him impatiently. Right then. James holstered his Walther and joined his partner in the cool depths of the junk shop, determined to find out just what the hell was going on.

 

~~~~

 

The side door led to the rear of the junk shop. It was no more neat inside than it had been in the front. Boxes and random objects filled the storeroom in haphazard piles, leaving narrow walkways weaving through the stacks.

Alec meowed at James again, and led the way farther back, stopping at a small table tucked into a corner made from a stack of boxes and the wall of the shop. Once there, Q jumped off his shoulder to sit next to Alec. The pair started grooming each other.

James stood there watching, gut churning at Alec’s odd behavior, with no idea of what to do next. The woman had mentioned tea, but the table was cluttered with stacks of paper and mismatched china. Should he clear it off? But where would he put… He shook himself. He was a Double O. He needed to act like it.

“Ah, good. You’ve found the table. Be a love and just clear a spot for the tea.”

He spun towards the woman, one hand dropping protectively to the messenger bag. Her name was Sophia, he reminded himself. She carried a large teapot, and smiled at him expectantly. Just behind Sophia stood a much younger woman carrying a tray piled with sandwiches and a chocolate cake. James’ shoulders slumped and he gave in to the inevitable.

While he cleared the table, Sophia spoke to the younger woman. “Marya, dear, just pop the tray on a box — no, not that one, it’s all wobbly. That one there. It’s a bit more stable.”

“All right, Sophia.” Marya gave James a glance as she placed the tray on the box, and then ignored him. As she turned to leave, she said, “Give us a ring when you’re done, and I’ll come by to get the tray.”

“Thank you, dear. And thank you, too,” Sophia said to James as she put the teapot on the table.

James pulled out a chair for Sophia, courteously scooting it in as she sat. He turned to get the tray Marya had left before Sophia could ask, and put it in the space he had cleared on the table.

He adjusted the messenger bag, placing it into his lap, as he sat in the chair next to Sophia.

Q jumped onto the table, upsetting the teacups, and gave a strident yowl.

“Oh, my! I almost forgot. I _am_ sorry, dear.” Sophia pushed her chair back and stood. “If you’ll excuse me for a moment? Please, pour yourself some tea and help yourself to a sandwich. I’ll be right back.”

James automatically stood as Sophia did, clutching the messenger bag so it didn’t fall. “Of course,” although he grimaced inwardly at the thought of drinking tea.

“Excellent.” Sophia waved her hand toward the far wall, where James spotted stairs going up to the next floor, and said to the cats, “Come along, dears. Let’s just pop upstairs. Won’t take a moment, really.”

James watched, uneasiness coiling in his gut, as Alec and Q trotted up the stairs after Sophia.

 

~~~~

 

James moved restlessly around the storeroom as he waited, poking through the boxes full of junk. Every few minutes he looked up to check the door at the top of the stairs. It had been 20 minutes so far. Both Alec and Q had changed into cats in seconds. What was taking so long?

He'd gotten distracted by an old pocket watch that the Quartermaster might be interested in — after he was no longer a cat, of course — when he heard the door open. He dropped the watch back into the box and spun around to face the stairs. Alec and Q, back to their normal forms, were walking down the steps.

Several long strides brought James to the foot of the stairs just as they reached the bottom. He pulled Alec into his arms and buried his face in his partner’s neck, letting the familiar scent fill his nose. He relaxed for the first time in hours.

Strong arms tightened around him for a moment, then Alec pulled away just far enough to catch his lips in a searing kiss. His brain shorted out, aware only of Alec’s hard body pressed against his, and the urgency of their lips and tongues tangling together.

Some unknown time later, someone cleared their throat. James clutched at Alec reflexively, then forced himself to let go as they turned.

The Quartermaster and Sophia were waiting patiently on the stairs behind Alec. One of Q’s brows quirked up.

“Err, sorry.” He was a bit embarrassed that he’d let his relief get the better of him. A small part of him had been afraid that Alec would never be human again.

Sophia smiled gently at him. “Quite all right, dear. It’s understandable. You’ve had a difficult day. Now let’s all go sit and have some tea, shall we?”

“Yes, Sophia,” Alec said, and slanted a grin towards James. He smiled back, watching Sophia and Q slip past Alec and head toward the table. Alec leaned into him, lips brushing his ear, and whispered, “Later, love.”

He turned his head. Their lips almost touched as he said, “I’ll hold you to that.”

Alec chuckled, low and utterly filthy. “I’m counting on it.”

“Come along, dears, we’re waiting.”

Alec’s eyes widened as Sophia’s voice intruded, and he took a step back from James. “Sorry, Sophia.”

James frowned as Alec bumped him in the shoulder, and inclined his head towards the table. What hold did the old woman have on his partner? He hurried to follow as Alec walked to the table.

Sophia and Q were already seated, with two more chairs pulled out from somewhere in the depth of the back room. James took one chair while Alec sat in the other — between Sophia and Q, not next to _him._ James shoved down his jealousy once more. It did make sense, in a way. Q was an executive — the quartermaster of MI6 — and they were Double O’s. It naturally fell to them to be Q’s protection detail under unforeseen circumstances. And these circumstances were definitely unforeseen.

“So.” Q sipped his tea. “I spent the afternoon as a cat.”

Sophia nodded. “Yes, you did.”

Q put his teacup down with a sharp _click_ as he looked Sophia in the eye. “I’d like to know why.”

Her eyes widened, as she feigned confusion. “Why, how should I know that, dear?”

“Because,” Q said, his voice going as deadly low as any Double O’s, as he slipped a phone from his pocket and set it on the table, “you were the one to change us back to human, and _you_ were the one to call Alec this morning, luring him here.”

Sophia blinked rapidly as she stared at the phone. “Oh… I…. Oh, dear.”

“I _told_ you that you were going to make a hash of it, Sophia.”

The only reason James didn’t jump was that he had trained himself out of showing surprise at unexpected voices coming from behind him.

Sophia looked over his shoulder — although, not very far over his shoulder. “I have it under control, Amelia.”

“Not from where I’m standing, you don’t.”

“Oh, you’re standing? My mistake. I thought you were sitting down.”

A teakettle hiss of range heralded a woman, about the same age as Sophia, marching towards the table from behind him. She leaned over Sophia’s shoulder, and the next instant, they were gone.

 _Well, shit._ That was… different. Although, after the past day, he really shouldn’t be surprised. He leaned over to check the chair and under the table. No cats. As he straightened up, Alec caught his eye and nodded.

“After the day we’ve had, I would have checked if you hadn’t.”

“We still don’t know what happened,” Q grumbled, not taking his eyes off the empty chair.

Then James nearly fell out of his chair in surprise. Alec reached out to stroke Q’s hair — and Q leaned into the touch. _What the hell?_

“They’re fighting, aren’t they?” A vaguely familiar girl’s voice came from behind the stacks, followed by the girl herself stepping out from between two of the boxes.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” James groused. “How many people are going to sneak up on me today?”

Marya turned, studying him curiously. “I really don’t know. Foresight isn’t one of my gifts.”

“What _can_ you tell us, then?” Q asked sharply.

The girl smirked and slipped into the chair Sophia had… left. “The _kitarnesj_ is in danger. It needs a new Guardian.”

James could hear the capital ‘G’ in the girl’s voice and had a sinking feeling. And what the hell was a kitsanudge?

“Why me? And why not tell me what was going on? Sophia just said ‘come now’ when she called this morning.” Alec leaned forward in his chair, his green eyes focused on Marya.

She squirmed slightly under his regard. “She didn’t want you to know.”

“Wait. She wanted Alec to be the Guardian of this…. Whatever, and didn’t want to tell him what was going on?”

James narrowed his eyes at the Quartermaster. Since when did Q say ‘Alec’ and not ‘Trevelyan’?

Q, staring down the girl, ignored him.

“Marya,” Alec said, with a mild warning in his tone that said he was barely holding his temper in check.

James approved. _He_ was barely holding his temper in check. He wasn’t happy with this entire situation.

The girl seemed to realize they were angry and leaned away. “We, erm… we got word that someone was trying to steal it. A messenger was bringing it here, to us, to help protect it during the transition to a new Guardian.”

“The dead man in the alley,” Q said.

Marya nodded, leaning forward. “Yes. He —”

“What happened to him?” Q interrupted. “He disappeared.”  

 _“Will you let me finish?”_ Marya sighed heavily after her outburst. “Look, I’m going to try to answer your questions, but please. Just… let me tell this my way.”

“Your way is getting us nowhere, fast,” James said, watching the way her lips tightened with annoyance. Good. Angry people make mistakes.

“Fine. The world is older than you know —”

“Wonderful, we’re in a Buffy episode,” Alec said, rolling his eyes.

“The _world._ Is _older than you know_ ,” Marya gritted, her dark eyes flashing. “There is a veil that separates the human world from the supernatural, and there are gods, spirits, and demons that jockey for position there. Most of the time, that doesn’t spill over into the human world. When it does, Guardians take over. They do whatever needs to be done to make sure the human world and the supernatural world intersect as little as possible. That’s where the _kitarnesj_ comes in. It’s a passive —”

 _“Passive?”_ Alec burst out. “It turned me and Q into _cats.”_

“It likes cats?” Marya laughed weakly.

“So do I, but I don’t want to _be_ one,” Q said.

“Oh. Erm…. Well? That… could be a _teensy_ bit of a problem in the future.”

Enough was enough. James stood, his chair falling backwards to hit the floor with a clatter, and leaned on the table, staring into Marya’s startled eyes. “Tell us everything. _Now._ _”_

Marya gulped. “It’s a mystic relic, bound to a god. It needs a Guardian to keep it safe.”

“And the cat thing?” Alec’s voice had gone eerily calm again.

“It… it really does like cats. It turns anyone it doesn’t want touching it into a some sort of an animal, but those it doesn’t mind, it turns into cats — temporarily — when it accepts them.”

James blinked, uncomfortably aware that both Alec and Q were staring at him. “I touched it twice. I’m still me.”

Marya shook her head. “No, that’s impossible. Or did you have gloves on? It changes anyone that touches it with bare skin into an animal.”

“Not me.”

“It affects _everyone,”_ Marya insisted. She gestured toward Q. “Even Alec and… him. I’m sorry, what’s your name? We weren’t expecting you.”

Before Q could say anything, Alec interrupted. “No. I want to know why James wasn’t affected, but first — what do you mean, this thing has ‘accepted’ us?”

“Yes. You mentioned guardians. We’re… not, are we?” Q asked, his apprehension apparent in the way he watched the girl.

“Oh, no. No, no, no, dear. You’re entirely unsuitable to be Guardians.” Sophia appeared, next to the  table, just as suddenly as she left. Amelia stood at her side. Oddly, given their abrupt departure earlier, neither looked the worse for wear. “I asked Alec to stop by so I could give him a package — the _kitarnesj_ — to drop off with Nikanor in Athens.”

“Ath — wait, how did you know he was thinking of going to Athens?” He and Alec had discussed going to Greece for a short vacation, but hadn’t made any plans. The thought that they’d been under some kind of surveillance without noticing it alarmed James. “Did… did you _make_ him want to go to Athens?”

Sophia gave him a withering look. “Of course not. It would be unethical to interfere with someone’s mind that way. We made sure that you both saw advertisements for Greece, with an emphasis on places in Athens. You _do_ like ouzo, don’t you, dear?”

That still seemed too much like manipulation for his liking. “Enough. I’m getting bloody tired of repeating myself. The next thing I want to hear is how you know Alec, why you contacted him this morning, and why I’m immune to this thing.”

“You must be mistaken, dear. No one is —”

“No,” James interrupted, holding up his hand. Sophia opened her mouth as if to speak, and he shook his head warningly. When he was satisfied that she wouldn’t try to say anything, he dug into Q’s messenger bag and pulled out the ki-whatever and dropped it in the centre of the table.

The silence was deafening. The three women looked at the stone, him, and then each other.

“Now. How do you know Alec, why him, and _then_ we’ll discuss me.”

“That’s… that’s impossible,” Sophia said softly. She reached out, barehanded, to touch the stone. “It’s just not possi — squa- _squawwwwwkkkk!”_

James stared at the table in shock, then began to chuckle. “She’s been…”

 _“Don’t_ say it!” Q warned him, although it looked like the Quartermaster was fighting his own mirth.

“She,” James had to stop while he laughed. He caught Alec’s eyes, and knew his partner was thinking the same thing. They finished together. “She’s been goosed!”

Q groaned, rolling his eyes.

Amelia sighed. “Marya, please take Sophia upstairs and see about getting her changed back.”

Marya nodded, her eyes wide as she carefully picked up Sophia, who was still making incredulous squawking sounds.

“Now then,” Amelia said, leaning forward and braced her arms on the table, interlacing her fingers. “We’ve known Alec since he was a boy. We used to babysit him. When we took over the shop here, we had hoped to see him, but it’s been years. Then this situation came up, and, well… We needed someone none of the — oh, call them opposing factions — would recognize or suspect. We knew about you, of course. I mean, that you existed, not your… well, unusual magical… disability. We made sure the idea of Greece popped up wherever you two were. When we invited Alec here, we were going to talk him into going on a Greek vacation and delivering the _kitarnesj_ for us.”

He glanced at Q, who shrugged, and then at Alec, who nodded. “All right. Now what about my ‘magical disability’?” He wasn’t sure he’d put it quite that way. Not getting turned into an animal at some object’s whim seemed more of a benefit to him.

“I don’t,” Amelia hesitated, then shook her head slightly. “I’ve never come across a situation like this. You seem to be… magically null. The three of us are going to have to do some research.”

Disappointment washed through him before common sense reasserted itself. He hadn’t known about magic before. Now that he did, at least he seemed to be immune. He glanced at Alec again.

Alec nodded once, then looked at Amelia. “You could have just asked. We’ll take the thing to Nikanor, but in return — you need to tell us everything about the supernatural and the magical world.”

 

~~~~

 

James stood waiting on an Athens street, with Q lounging on his shoulders. Alec had just disappeared into a shop that reminded him of Sophia’s.

So far, he could still touch the _kitarnesj_ without being affected. Alec and Q could touch it without changing now, too — but they did feel the need to change into cats every so often. Now, though, they could control the change themselves.

He reached up to pet Q, feeling a purr rumble against his neck. The deal they’d worked out with Amelia, Sophia, and Marya was that they’d deliver the _kitarnesj_ and when they got back, the three women would tell them all about their world.

They still hadn’t figured out why he was magically ‘immune,’ but he’d take it for the advantage it was. As long as he didn’t count on magic not working on him, it would be damn useful.

As for the three of them, they were working out what a relationship between them would be like. It still felt… strange, that Alec and Q were suddenly so close, but their shared experience as cats had erased all the boundaries between them.

Q tensed, then leapt off his shoulders, turning human again, when Alec left the shop. Alec grinned, and the two embraced, kissing.

James smiled, waiting to kiss Alec next. He and Q weren’t quite as close. Yet.

  


**Author's Note:**

> I love reviews, comments, and any other sort of communication. Feel free to stop in to say hi - you can find me on Tumblr at leavesdancing.tumblr.com, or at my Bond fandom tumblr, zephyrfox.tumblr.com.


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